An Interview with Pamela

So, Pamela, you are called “The Urban Mystic”. What does that title mean and how would you describe the work you are doing today?

A mystic is someone who seeks spiritual truths and experiences but also seeks hidden meaning. In our modern culture, the word “mystic” might seem a bit archaic but as author Caroline Myss pointed out, the world needs “mystics out of monasteries”: lay people who live and work in society but have the wisdom, spiritual depth and gift of sight to help others along their paths. This calling is especially needed now in our fast-paced, confusing world. In my case, I have always had a fascination with uncovering deeper meaning and connections between events, but I could never put a label on this odd talent I was born with. Even as a child, I loved quiet, deep reflection. In fact, I thought I'd have to be a nun and I actually considered that before puberty kicked in and I realized I couldn't live a chaste life. So, I went forward on a normal, human path, aching for meaning in the tough times. I inherently felt that I could gain wisdom even from my most painful experiences and I was right. When I left modeling and began my intensive studies into life purpose, psychology, divinity, personal growth and metaphysics, classmates of mine started observing me and titling me things like “Epiphany Pam, The Regal Eagle and The Urban Mystic”. I think, “The Urban Mystic” stuck because I live in the concrete world of New York City, but I love helping non-light-seekers find passion, purpose, and empowering meaning in their lives. As you get to know me better you will see that all my endeavors are creatively designed to get sophisticated, secular, linear-thinkers on the path of introspection and enlightenment. I am an urban mystic in my artistic approach, and I am a revolutionary reframer in my methodology.

When did you realize you could help people "reframe" their lives and experiences?

Even though I was born into an amazing family and blessed circumstances, I had many personal experiences that demanded reframing in order for me to move on happily in my life. However, I think it was at the most traumatic points, where I had to decide to either let an event destroy me or rebirth me into a better, more evolved person that showed me I had the power to do this. Additionally, I was always the defender of the underdog at school. I was the one who stuck up for the bullied. I knew even as a child that what happened back then could shape a life and if it was processed in the wrong way, someone could be scarred forever by the cruel actions of others.  The meaning we assign to the events of our lives really determines our destinies.

Can you give an example of that?

Yes. Think of stories where children are born into poverty or abuse. In one case, a child might soak up all the negativity of their surroundings and become a criminal or an abuser in adulthood, blaming everyone for their choices and unfortunate fate. On the other hand, a child might be victimized and decide, “I don’t deserve this, NO child deserves this, and I’m going to get out, get educated and become a pediatrician or defender of children’s rights.” On a less tragic but more common note, anyone who has even been fired has a choice to see their dismissal as either a sign that they are unworthy or an opportunity for growth and personal re-invention. How we process everything, past, present and future, determines how we move forward and how productive and happy we will be.

So, you started working as a professional model after college. What made you suddenly leave that world behind?

I always knew modeling was a means to an end. I wanted financial freedom and free time to develop myself and my ideas. However, I was a bit on auto-pilot and caught up in the luxury of that life when I had an accident that nearly disfigured me. I saw my nephew climbing up the baby gate at my parents’ house and lunged after him which made us both tumble down the stairs to a stone floor below. He was fine but I landed on my face. In addition to all the facial bruising and swelling of landing head first on concrete, my front teeth cracked, I had some permanent injury to my leg and my top lip was severed half-way across my mouth. That was a serious turning point for me and it made me realize that I needed to free myself of that identity. I had so much more to give than just my body and face. I had lunch with film producer Stephen Simon and he said, “You needed this to happen. You needed to break your mask.” At the time I met him, I was on the mend and back to modeling and acting, but he said, “You might be a healer.” At first I thought, “What the heck is he talking about? I’m a model and an actress…” But then, I realized he saw that I wasn’t leveraging my education or using my greater gifts, especially my creative writing ability. It wasn’t long after that meeting that I went back to school to become an expert in this field. It was perfect timing because I have had two children, one right after the other, over the last few years, and I had to leave modeling for pregnancy and motherhood anyway.

How did Oprah hear about you?

Oprah did a story about a baseball player who had a serious debilitating injury. I happened to see that episode and how this man’s life fell apart. However, I noticed that no one on the panel of experts could lift the doom and gloom from this poor guy’s perspective. I was shouting at the tv, “He needs hope! He needs to reframe what happened to him in a positive, empowering way!” I decided to write a letter to the show offering my help to this person and told Oprah that I knew a lot about mentally turning things around because I had done it for myself. The producers read my letter and called me a couple of weeks later to be on the show.

I see that after that you went on to become a life coach with three separate programs. Why so many schools and why don’t you call yourself a life coach now?

Like modeling, life coaching was a means to an end for me. I used my studies to evolve myself but also to learn how to help others. What I realized along the way, however, was that what is going on inside of us and what is unfolding out in the world at large is far more complex that one line of thinking would handle or solve. I wanted more and more answers and tools. With each program I thought, “This is GREAT…but there is more to it.” It was as if each of my brilliant teachers handed me a piece of a puzzle but left me to decipher the mystery myself. If we want to wake up and evolve ourselves and create a healthier, more functional world, we need to be shocked out of our slumbers. We need our habitual thinking to be challenged in different and unexpected ways. We need to create our defining moments before change is forced upon us. Just look at the newspaper and how unprepared we all are for change. We need to raise our consciousness and raise our bars, individually and collectively. I had to think and work outside of the box and free myself of traditional labels to help people do that.

...And be a maverick or a revolutionary?

Exactly. Thus the name! I have been in the "self-help" world long enough to know that sometimes, out of fear of offending others, we don't tell them the truth. In the personal growth field, this is quite a big part of the business... telling people what they want to hear rather than what they NEED to hear. However, you don't really help someone when you keep their blinders on. It's much more liberating to see the truth of your life and hear that you have the power and responsibility to change it. I want Utopia too, but we need to function in reality. That's where I diverge from the traditional personal growth mindset. I always say that it easy to sit in the quiet suburbs with your sleepy old pet and write books on inner peace. Try living in the city, in cramped noisy neighborhoods with crying children, elbowed on the subway on your way to work, worried about finances, bombarded with obstacles all day...The person who can find peace under those circumstances is my Zen master.

How would you describe then, your overall mission and vision for the future?

My mission is to help people find peace, passion, purpose and empowering meaning in their lives through a fresh perspective and through Revolutionary Reframing: to teach others to find sacred symbolism even in their lowest, most self-indulgent human experiences. I also aim to bridge the gap between the spiritual and self-help worlds (where there are stigmas and sometimes negative stereotypes associated with the fields), and the highly functioning, successful and productive non-seekers out there who wouldn’t be caught dead in the personal growth section of the bookstore. This is an untapped audience which needs to be reached in a cool, intellectual and aesthetically inviting way. I want to elevate enlightenment to an art form. My passionate vision is to reach an audience that hasn’t been reached before and get them excited about soul evolution. I firmly believe we all have the capacity to make our lives a masterpiece when we know how to master ourselves. However, the tools to do this shouldn’t be kept hidden behind workshop doors and inside stale and repetitive self-help books. We shouldn't have to surf our way through rainbows, incense and unicorns to reach epiphanies. The process should be sophisticated, modern, fresh and fun!